Comment - Wiping the slate clean

Steven D Wright resolves to purge himself of all television-related cynicism and bile

So farewell to Leona, farewell to Charlie Stubbs and farewell to 2006 - a shitty year in the history of TV in my opinion and, by common consent, easily one of the worst ones for us Bob Crachett-like independent producers forced to beg from the Ebenezer Scrooges running our TV channels (who, bizarrely, all seemed to run out of money back in August).

But, maybe I'm being too harsh after overegging the eggnog and munching too many mince pies over the past fortnight (no wonder my Xmas TV experience is all boring old farts and constant repeats).

Luckily the new year is a once-a-year detox for the average telly type allowing the cynical and blasé to discharge the bile and erase all the stains that have built up over the past 12 months. But, rather than jetting off to the Maldives with all the rest of the TV crowd, I have decided, like Dr Gillian McKeith, to look inside and cleanse myself by ridding my life of all the shit and spend time thinking about my new year resolutions. But where to start?

Firstly, after several weeks of non-stop revelries, I want to stop channelling Paris Hilton and worrying about whether I have been invited to all the right parties and premieres. Although I wish I'd scored a ticket to the ITV Productions' Xmas bash last week that eschewed canapés and champagne and rather offered up a nasty X-rated stripper getting her kit off in front of the horrified revellers. This, as one shocked onlooker emailed me later, seemed 'to sum up exactly how wrong ITV got it in 2006'.

Secondly, after a non-stop merry-go-round of criss-crossing controllers and job-swapping execs, I resolve to be less bothered about what I will do in my post-TV career - not that I intend any exit strategy yet, but, incredibly, I will be 42 this year (which equates to being about 80 in TV years) and will no doubt be sent off to the knackers yard soon. Of course, I would much rather emulate that cash-rich indie boss who, in 2006, decided to abandon mainstream TV and to invest in his own video company offering hardcore gay porn and who, although he will be instantly recognised by any Pact member, is now 'starring' in his own XXX videos.

Thirdly, after the success of such bestsellers as Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze?I intend to write a book answering all those silly TV questions. Entitled Why Don't Those Bastards Commission My Idea?, I explore the nether world of the unsuccessful producer and that recalcitrant commissioner. Sadly, on rereading my first draft, I realised it wasn't very funny and was more like one of those true-life horror things that scares the shit out of you.

Finally, I intend to ditch the cynicism and be more cheerful and pleasant to all my colleagues. And I'll start by wishing everyone a happy new year!
Steven D Wright is creative director, entertainment at Shine