“Too boring. This couple, Monica and Nick, manage a chateau where some other people are getting married.” Read on for the verdict on last night’s TV

Little England

“Dave and Helen from Sheffield had found a tidy little niche trundling their mobile chippy round the local villages, feeding cabillaud frites to nostalgic Brits and broadminded French men. And Ray, a Somerset butcher, had fulfilled his life-long dream of becoming a farmer by buying a 70-acre spread in France profonde, where your money will spread considerably further.”
Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

“This opener was also of the gentle charming ilk – perhaps a little too gentle – as we met the first crop of expats.”
Alex Hardy, The Times

“Too boring. This couple, Monica and Nick, manage a chateau where some other people are getting married. Someone else says the weather down there is nicer than in England, but they miss fish and chips. So David and Helen do fish and chips, from a van, for the expat community.”
Sam Wollaston, The Guardian

“As escapism goes – it’s almost bearable, the sweetness of the essential fantasy about village life cut by the lead character’s tart refusal to obey the social niceties.”Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

“If the series already had a wide audience, what better to give the party even more universal appeal than the addition of a baby.”
Alex Hardy, The Times

The Queen’s Palaces, BBC1

“Ardent royalists may be a little disappointed by the fact that the current Queen makes no appearance at all, leaving the task of guiding Fiona Bruce around the house to the army of experts and housekeepers who look after the bling. But then again, Bruce is quite regal enough in her manner to satisfy anyone’s need for condescending majesty, drifting across the screen like the reigning princess of middlebrow television.”
Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

“This period was all about displaying one’s spending power in a manner that would surely make a modern-day rap star blush with embarrassment. Luckily this series, presented by the increasingly eminent Fiona Bruce, goes deeper than the soft furnishings.”
Matt Baylis, The Express

Soho Blues, Channel 5

“The stalwart professionals who staff the ambulances and police the streets of central London do a tough job. Clearly they don’t want any accompanying camera teams to think they take their duties lightly. However every now and then a strong flicker of irony is discernible.”
Matt Baylis, The Express

Embarrassing Bodies, Channel 4

“The problem with Embarrassing Bodies. Maybe it does do something towards getting rid of the embarrassment and shame of these conditions. Encourages us to do something about them, and to examine our vulvas etc. That has to be a good thing. But it simply isn’t very nice to watch. I don’t want David’s itchy red anus on my 42in high definition television.”
Sam Wollaston, The Guardian

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