‘Squeamish’ is an understatement. If the word ‘brain’ is plonked in the same sentence as ‘stem’ and ‘cell’, the world starts a-whirlin’ and it might be “look out floor, here I come”.
Bright Lights, Brilliant Minds: A Tale Of Three Cities hit a series low on Wednesday with 208,000/1%
The cool approach of Scandi TV detectives gave way to BBC4’s series of hot-blooded Swedish murderings.
Friday’s Kate Bush Story was BBC4’s top-rated show
E4 had the highest-rated, non-repeat homegrown show of the week: Hollyoaks on Monday at 7pm with 994,000/6%
BBC3’s comedy Cuckoo returned after a near two-year hiatus with 654,000/3.8%
BBC4’s Timeshift: Killer Storms And Cruel Winters was the channel’s best, with 690,000/3% at 9pm on Monday
BBC3’s Family Guy achieved 1.2 million/7% Sunday at 10.25pm
BBC3’s musical drama Glasgow Girls achieved 620,000/4% on Tuesday at 10pm
E4’s latest US import, sci-fi series The 100, launched with an epic 1.7 million
C4’s The Armstrong Lie, achieved 900,000 over two-and-a-half hours.
Murdered By My Boyfriend achieved 780,000/3.6% at 9pm on Monday.
Elsewhere, ITV3 rumbled on murderously, while an unlikely film-off occurred on Sunday night
Subscription numbers might be more important than ratings
In 2015, Hollyoaks will be 20 years old; but despite recent upstarts like the big bang theorists, it remains a perky stalwart of E4’s schedule
With pay drama channel ITV Encore heaving in to view, ITV3 was determined to show its sibling upstart how it’s done, with its detective greatest hits. Meanwhile, BBC4 pulled on its white stetson and set off for Dodge City.
The recent round of series culls in the US left The Big Bang Theory untouched and barging on for more
Whatever the chief ingredient of the juice of celebrities might be, it’s potent stuff, as ITV2’s comedy panel show breezes inexorably onwards.
In Blackadder III, Prince George declared himself as thick as a whale omelette, but even he’d have known a hit when one clouted him.
Who would have thought those bewigged Georgians would have such an impact?
This week, in its studious fashion, BBC4 tapped into the magic world of fungi. Elsewhere, ITV2 spawned a new panel show, while E4 banged on with its geeks.
Winnie the Pooh, not one of literature’s great thinkers, was nonetheless prepared to gamble everything if honey was involved, as illustrated by the whole bees/tree/balloon fiasco of legend.
In an unlikely contest this week, it turned out that suburban gardens can hold their own in a stand-off with a backpacked Olympic bronze medallist and porn.
It’s likely that E4 whirled a jig of delight when The Big Bang Theory was awarded three more seasons.
As nippers, we didn’t think twice about playing down railway embankments, in rivers and alongside canals.
At my school, the careers advice service ranked in the education hierarchy somewhere below the upkeep of general sanitation.
Football’s a regular top draw in multichannel and this week was no exception, with the clash between Manchester United and Liverpool on Sunday dominating the table with 1.8 million viewers.
Sometimes watching Tottenham Hotspur is like watching an episode of The Walking Dead. But fans’ hope, so often squished, springs eternal.
ITV3 wrestled with time and space this week as Lewis was pursued from the past by his deceased boss’s younger self.
When the Oscar nominations were first announced, one strong contender was American Hustle.
One day in 1989, I came home to my shabby flat and even shabbier flatmates to be confronted with the sight of a gently listing bin spewing its contents, mostly the previous night’s curry, across the living room floor.
One day in the year 2095, a child wired for music intravenously will ask in wonder: ‘Grandad, what’s an MP3 player?’.
South America is about to be everywhere, what with the Brazil World Cup this year and the Rio Olympics in 2016.
In a slightly surreal moment at a Radio Times do last week, the Danish ambassador received his copy of the magazine’s cover with the star of Borgen on it.
Rococo or Ancient Egyptian treasures? The votes are in and (if it existed anywhere outside of my head) the most esoteric poll ever delivered the ancients the spoils.
E4’s geeky boffins have competition from a cop whose new boss wants less fun and more criminal capturing. Meanwhile, over on BBC4, Britain’s oldest butcher did rather nicely.
My fierce history teacher once delivered summary justice to one of the cool kids (during a lesson about appeasement, ironically). He was my hero after that and would have fitted right in with BBC3’s young instructors.
It’s Christmas so it must be time for a movie franchise or two.
Big Bang Theory held share while Celebrity Juice served up an early festive treat.
You know why the song Istanbul (Not Constantinople) left it there? It was because trying to get in “oh, and it was also Byzantium” would have caused chaos.
Did the comet Ison have the cosmos’s most useless satnav? After 3 million years of travel, its command was: ‘In 1 million miles take the second exit and head for the big, hot yellow thing.’
Until recently, Brits who bothered with Danish politics probably confined themselves to making sure they were astutely placed to pounce on the final pastry.
Put away the pasta and retrieve the Danish meatballs.
But The Big Expansion Theory just sounded like elasticated slacks, which is not a great brand image. E4 won’t care, though, as its acquired sitcom continues to expand.
“Take your BBC1 shilling and be gone Buns!’ BBC2, wounded but proud, points dramatically to the exit. Then with barely a beat, but arms akimbo, it welcomes a quiz with hieroglyphics. BBC4 turns around, looks at the drawing board and says huffily: “Well?”
Some girls, said the Rolling Stones, give money, clothes and heart attacks.
“It’s a mystery,” Toyah Wilcox once squeaked, leaping about the stage. Some years on from that postpunk anthem, she remains correct in her observation; except it’s a murder mystery, and they love it.
BBC4’s championing of the subtitled drama has been famously led by the dourly compelling ‘Scandi Noir’.