Due to a physiological miracle that I am loathe to investigate too closely, no matter what I eat, weight stays away. After watching BBC2 on Thursday, I realise how insanely lucky that is, since it seems the biggest conspiracy of modern times is not political, it’s sugar.

Elsewhere, Mock The Week and The Million Pound Drop returned, while kitchen kerfuffles continued unimpressively.

On Thursday at 9pm, BBC2’s investigation into our sugar-saturated diet, The Men Who Made Us Fat, achieved 2 million/8% (including 85,000 simultaneously on BBC HD), defeating Channel 5’s Extraordinary People (1.6 million/7%; 69,000 +1) and Channel 4’s The House The 50s Built (1.2 million/5%; 235,000 +1).

On the same night, C5’s Marco Pierre White’s Kitchen Wars, which began at 9pm last week with 865,000/4% (31,000 +1), moved to 8pm and mustered less; 708,000/3% (44,000 +1).

At 10pm on Thursday, BBC2’s Mock The Week returned to 2.1 million/11%, ahead of C4’s repeat of 24 Hours In A&E (889,000/5%; 76,000 +1) and Big Brother on C5 (1.5 million/8%; 46,000 +1).

C4’s The Million Pound Drop returned at 8.30pm on Friday against England v Sweden on BBC1. Its 1.1 million/4% incl +1 is its lowest live rating yet.